Cate Crafter

Back in late 2021 to early 2022 (around three months in total), I had something of a breakdown.

I became a nervous wreck, having panic attacks left, right and centre about death and the inevitability of it all - perhaps rather embarrassingly, this came about because I binge-watched a space documentary series by Prof Brian Cox, and it scared the shit out of me.

My sister and I now have a running joke about the whole thing, and recently, I bought a book about Black Holes by him, which she found baffling and highly amusing, given the nature of my Brian Cox-induced mental breakdown!

But enough about Prof Cox and space. Where does gaming fit into all this, and how did it kind of save my life? Well, in February 2022, I decided I needed to find something to distract myself from the very negative and frightful thoughts flowing nonstop through my brain. In my teenage years, I loved playing games, from Sims to GTA to Halo. I was a bit of a console addict, so much so that I’d get told off for spending too much time playing games.

So, as I got older, I was led to believe that gaming was for kids and that I had to grow up - wrong on both accounts. And it was only when I was struggling to get through a day without crying or panicking that I decided to play a game again, and the game was World of Warcraft. As a fan of fantasy and the nature of it being an MMORPG, I thought that I wouldn’t feel so intimidated by the gameplay. So I decided to give it a go.

It’s safe to say that I was hooked after downloading the game and playing the free trial up to level 20. The game took my mind away from the real world to a fantasy landscape of elves, orcs, and so many possibilities. As I got more and more immersed in the game I felt my existential dread dissolve over the following months.

2 years have passed, and I’m still playing WOW (I’ve also been jumped onto the Baldur’s Gate 3 hype train recently - and loving it!). I am so glad that I came back to gaming, as it has honestly been one of the best things for my mental health.

Is it true that games have saved my life, possibly as I don’t know what would have happened if I’d continued to have so many panic attacks and obsessive thoughts about death?