Gaming saved my life...kind of

Back in late 2021 to early 2022 (around three months in total), I had something of a breakdown.

I became a nervous wreck, having panic attacks left, right and centre about death and the inevitability of it all - perhaps rather embarrassingly, this came about because I binge-watched a space documentary series by Prof Brian Cox, and it scared the shit out of me.

My sister and I now have a running joke about the whole thing, and recently, I bought a book about Black Holes by him, which she found baffling and highly amusing, given the nature of my Brian Cox-induced mental breakdown!

But enough about Prof Cox and space, where does gaming fit into all this, and how did it kinda save my life? Well, in February 2022, I decided I needed to find something to distract myself from the very negative and frightful thoughts flowing non-stop through my brain. And in my teenage years, I had loved playing games, from Sims to GTA to Halo. I was a bit of a console addict, and I’d get told off for spending too much time playing games.

So, as I got older, I decided that gaming was for kids and that I had to grow up - wrong on both accounts. And it was only when I was struggling to get through a day without crying or panicking that I decided to play a game again, and the game was World of Warcraft. As a fan of fantasy and the nature of it being an MMORPG, I thought that I wouldn’t feel so intimidated by the gameplay. So I decided to give it a go.

It’s safe to say that I was hooked after downloading the game and playing the free trial up to level 20. The game took my mind away from the real world to a fantasy landscape of elves, orcs, and so many possibilities. As I got more and more immersed in the game I felt my existential dread start to dissolve over the next few months that followed.

2 years have now passed, and I’m still playing WOW (I’ve also been sucked into the Baldur’s Gate 3 hype train recently - and loving it!). I am so glad that I came back to gaming, as it has honestly been one of the best things for my mental health.

Is it true that games have saved my life, possibly as I don’t know what would have happened if I’d continued to have so many panic attacks and obsessive thoughts about death?

December wrap up: Brandon Sanderson, Dragonflight, The Secret History and more

It's the final wrap-up of the year! I read two rather chunky but great books in December, played too much (or just enough) World of Warcraft: Dragonflight, watched the worst movie of the year and revisited an old favourite TV Show...among other things.

Wine stained lips...or is it blood?

For some reason, I like making themed playlists.

I have a dark techno playlist for the apocalypse, an electronic playlist for walking alone through a futuristic metropolis at night, a Bardcore playlist filled with Folk music and the soundtracks from Lord of the Rings and World of Warcraft for anyone wanting to escape the real world for a while and many more, but now I present to you a playlist for Vampires.

Specifically sad Vampires bearing the crippling and crushing weight of immortality in an ephemeral world.